This is one of mine. But wouldn’t it be weird if I had hers after over 25 years?

An elderly relative got hearing aids when I was in my late teens. She didn’t like them and she didn’t often use them, even though she definitely needed them. She would often just leave them in a drawer in her hall stand, by the phone, so she could put them in when she got a phone call.

At the time, we were all a bit frustrated by this. We were speaking louder, enunciating unnaturally, sometimes repeating ourselves more than once… she had hearing aids. Why wouldn’t she just wear them? It wasn’t talked about often, but it came up. She could leave them in a drawer when we’re not there, but just wear the darn things when we are, and we can all get on with chatting!

I think I was particularly unkind about this — never to her face or in her house, but in talking to my parents and friends. I didn’t have the maturity or the perspective to understand why she might leave them out, might not want to have them in, even when we were visiting.

As I explained last time, I was now learning why that was the case. There were so many discomforts initially, so many things I was having to work around (for advice on that, read the previous post). However, there was also a social aspect: people’s running commentaries.

I haven’t had long hair since I was in my twenties. I started thinning out on top and I didn’t like how it looked. Below, there’s a photo of the last time I wore my hair long. I would’ve given a lot to have hair like that when I got hearing aids — hide them away and use them in secret.

But no, I had a shaved head! So there wasn’t much hope of tucking them out of sight. The comments, the jokes, the snide remarks… this was the early 2000s and everyone wanted to be an edgy comedian, the wit of the party. All I wanted was for people not to notice and just let me get used to them. I didn’t need comments on their colour, size, shape, whistling noise… I didn’t need jokes on my age, similarity to a Cyberman or Borg, ability to hear dog whistles…

Then I remembered how much people commented on my elderly relative’s hearing aids at the time. Maybe it wasn’t just physically getting used to them that held her back from using them. Maybe it was also the little comments that she caught from people. While none of my close family passed any disparaging remarks, other than expressing some frustration that she wasn’t using them, there were neighbours and acquaintances who did make little comments, ask intrusive questions, and even make jokes.

People need time to get used to disability and disability aids. Maybe we could all give them space to do that without it being such a topic of conversation.

Want to support the blog and my YouTube channel? I have a Patreon account here, a Liberapay account here, and a PayPal account here.